The Onion’s Special Op-Ed Guest: George W. Bush

Here is an excerpt of George W. Bush’s farewell message as found in The Onion online:

I’m Really Gonna Miss Systematically Destroying This Place

Oh, America. Eight years went by so fast, didn’t they? I feel like I hardly got to know you and methodically undermine everything you once stood for. But I guess all good things must come to an end, and even though you know I would love to stick around for another year or four—maybe privatize Social Security or get us into Iran—I’m afraid it’s time to go. But before I leave, let me say, from the bottom of my heart: I can’t think of another country I would’ve rather led to the brink of collapse….

It’s just gonna be so hard packing up my things and heading off into the sunset come January. I wish I could go on forever giving massive and disastrous tax cuts to the wealthy, taking the country from a surplus to a deficit—nearly $500 billion this year, likely to pass $1 trillion next year, fingers crossed—and just generally doing irreparable damage to the very underpinnings of our economy, but, well, I’m afraid the Constitution says I can’t. And not even I can overrule the Constitution. Though Lord knows I tried!

….My fellow Americans, I only hope that every time you have your civil liberties encroached upon by the Patriot Act, you’ll think of me.

Wow, can you believe President Bush would write with such forthright candor in a major newspaper like “The Onion?”

Tip of the hat and bigtime, presidential salute to those smarty-pants Onion writers.

Is This Something That Aids Us in Our Illness or Speaks to It?

The Raw Story Reports:

A New Jersey company says they have gotten federal approval to market a gun to the elderly and hopes to have it subsidized by Medicare.

Constitution Arms says its Palm Pistol will aid seniors with arthritis who would otherwise have trouble pulling the trigger. The device allows individuals to shoot by squeezing with their thumb.

The company’s president Matthew Carmel says its “something that they need to assist them in daily living,” and has applied to have the gun approved as a Class 1 medical device, the same designation given by Medicare to walkers and wheelchairs.

Palm Pistol retails for $460.